Stalker
by zorox88
Summary: zoey is being stalked by eric! what now?
1. Chapter 1

"hi" I said walking into the room "so what up"

"nothing he said back"

"that's cool" I replied

"yeah" the conversation was getting boring so I left.

Sigh now I'm in my car starting the engine room room

I sighed again ooohmigod I wish I had a cat so I could talk to someone with out getting bored

Sigh when will life get better???

That is the question a little voice

I screamed "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" ok maybe it was more like "EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK" anyway there was a stalker in my car

KREEPI

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

"Omigod, Erik"

I threw a tennis ball at him

"Ooow, what was that"

"It was a tennis ball"

He growled at me. "What do you want??" I demanded

"I want your toes" he said pulling out a large machete.

Omigod!! No not my toes I instantly started shaking and dived for the door.

Ah hell I locked it. "come on Z it's not like you need them."

"And you do??" I demanded.

"Yeah you see them I'll always have a part of you with me."

"You're insane" I hit the unlock button and shoved the door open. One problem he had my shirt in his really big kinda hairy hand. I felt the edge of the blade on my neck

"Just hold still and it might not hurt." He whispered in my ear.


	3. Chapter 3

I made a quick mental prayer

God if I get out of here a live and with all ten toes I will never…

1. Complain about how my grandma is obsessed with softball

2. Tell little kids that Santa is really the Easter Bunny dressed up as a big fat guy

3. Act Muslim just to piss of John

4. Wear my stripper boots again even though that's the only reason guys check me out

5. Wetting the bed and even if I do I won't forget to take a shower in the morning

6. Kid nap innocent goats and keep them hostage in my closet

7. Wear a thong ever again

8. Plug my mom's toilet with goat hair

9. Wear that hideous necklace that my great aunt billy gave me last year for holloween

10. Join an Asian Gang

11. Write swear words on the road in mustard

12. Hide in the fridge while playing hide and seek

13. …And then while hiding accidentally knock it over

14. …Then when mom finds in blame it on john

15. Dance around in my tutu from second grade when they have company over

16. …Or in the middle of a church serves

17. Sing loony tunes in the show

18. Paint johns car black

19. …Then tell him it matches his heart

20. Overcome the urge to start making out with Heath when he hums smack that

21. Overcome the urge to make out with any boy

22. NEVER KISS ANOTHER BOY UNTIL I AM SAFELY MARRIED AND HAVE MADE A PROS AND CONS LIST WITH THE PROS WINNING

23. Cut my mom's (or any one's) bras apart and sew hamburger buns in side

24. Run out of the room every time john or my mom comes in saying that I have Hefferfobia

25. Tell Damien that he would look good in a princess dress

26. …And that the name "Princess Butterfly" suits him better then Damien

27. By cheap beer for Heath on his birthday

28. …Or for Christmas

29. …Or Easter

30. …I won't by beer period

31. Impersonate Michael Jackson on face book

32. …And tell people that he's an undercover agent for the FBI

33. Wear a pant suit to school ever again even if it is for a good cause like bowling puppies

34. …Ok I wasn't for bowling puppies it was for the HMAA (Hannah Montana Assassin Association)

35. Tell Stevie Ray that I'm sorry I shaved all of her stuffed animals

36. And that I wasn't Erin, I just blamed it on her cuz she was already having a crappy day

37. Won't tell Erin that pink isn't her color

38. Bake peeps in the oven and put them on Aphrodite's pillow

39. …and then tell her it was Nala

40. Tell Neferet that I'm better then her

41. …and that she knows it deep deep deep down

42. Tell Stevie Ray that the reason I didn't want to go to that stupid concert with the stupid country singer is because he sucks

43. …then when she gets mad and runs crying into the bathroom tell her that she's just as danm annoying

44. Give Damien tampons for is birthday

45. …and tell him that he should start acting more like a girl

46. …cuz he's gay

47. …and gay people should always have at least one tampon on them 24/7

48. Tell everyone that Shawnee's bag isn't really Gucci

49. …and that she got it at Goodwill

50. …and that it was only 5 dollars

51. Throw tennis balls at people

52. …just 2 piss them off

53. …cuz I know it always works

**Amen**


	4. Chapter 4

So there I was praying, and there really must be a god cuz the next thing I know some ones grabbing my arm and pulling out the open car door.

"Hey," Erik winded. "She's mine, and I'm not sharing."

The person kept tugging on my arm then Erik started pulling and before I knew it I was in the middle of a human tug-a-war

After plenty of angry high pitched shrieking (coming from Erik) I ended up being yanked out the car door and landing painfully on my ass in the middle of the parking lot.

"Heath," I shouted, "you've come to save me o thank god I mean nyx hell thank them both this psychos trying to cut off my toes MY TOES! And you just used your manly football strength to play tug-a-war with a vampire and u won!," I turned to Erik, "you really a pathetic excuse for a vampire."

"hey"

"you say this guys been trying to cut off your toes?" Heath says in his deep manly football voice.

"Yes he-"

"huh I should have known someone would try and steal my idea" then Heath pulled out his one machete

"There mine I tell you stay back" Erik brandished his machete

Heath threw himself toward Erik

I stood in stunned silence as Erik and Heath shrieked high pitched shrieks and waved their machetes in circles

Just as the fight was getting good and I was thinking about going to get some popcorn or maybe a popsicle a bright flash of light came from nowhere and ran right into the fight

I oooooooed and awwwwed

Then I realized what the light was it was Blake and he was holding one of those light-up-light-stick-things-that-are-so-awesomely-fun-tohit-people-on-the-head-with

He roared and stabbed the thing into Erik's stomach

I cheered "Yay, I'm saved"

"Ha Ha," Blake roared in his deep manly but not football (wich was a bummer) voice "The toes are mine at last" (at this point heath fainted with fright man the men in my life are patetic)

He picked up one of the machetes and started toward me

I shook, a lot, my legs decided not to work, I fell, on a stick, it hurt, I bled, a lot

"NO!"

"WHAT" Blake spun around

"I SAID NO!" Stark raised his bow

"No, No please don't I didn't mean it" Blake started crying "boo hoo hoo boo hoo hoo boo hoo hoohoohoo"

"YES" Stark shouted "FINALLY THE TOES ARE MINE MINE ALL MINE"


End file.
